A Letter To My Son

Dear Aaron,

        It's been less then 24 hours since you left and the emptiness has set in good now. Watching you leave was the second hardest thing I had to do. As we have discussed, I may have missed the first 16 years, but I am here now. All you had to do was open yourself up and let us in. Your youngest brother cried for about an hour after you left. At 8 years old, he knew it wasn't such a great idea. Maybe for selfish reasons, but he knew. You chose not to say bye or anything at all, for that matter, to your other brother and sister, Aunt, or step-mother. That really hurt them the most. You leaving was hurtful, but not saying bye to everyone was more hurtful. You were a part of our lives for 7 wonderful months. We had some harsh words with each other, but that is a part of growing up. Thats what sons and fathers do. Not all of them, but some. I can tell you all about the path your going down until I am blue in the face, but you won't learn until you find out for yourself. I tried to provide some stability and give you a support system. You don't want anything I have to offer. You made that clear when you left. Son, I gave you my hand and you didn't want to take it. When you get older and are reflecting on your life, I pray that you see this as a missed opportunity and not a mistake. I have always loved you son. Even when I hadn't even met you yet, I loved you. Even though you don't want anything to do with me, I love you. How many times can I say "I'm sorry"? This is your life. You'll be 18 in about 8 months, all I can do now is watch as you make your mistakes. Mistakes, if you had allowed me to guide you, you wouldn't have to make. I really hope you finish school and recieve a diploma. Thats a concern of mine. I am feeling like I am rambling so I will close with this, I will be here for you to talk to, offer advice, or just to vent too. But I will not, can not rescue you from your mistakes anymore. You have to learn and apparently it's going to be the hard way. These things I am writing to you are not things I want to write, but the need to be written. Good luck in accomplishing your goals. I wish you the very best that life has to offer you.

Love,

Dad