Get Over It
You have a bad day at work, nothing major just a bad day. You would expect someone to say thats life, get over it. Especially if you complain about it everyday. Would you tell someone who has had a traumatic expierence the same thing? Traumatic like rape, loss of a family member, burglery, car accident these things are traumatic to people who don’t expierence them everyday all day. Would you tell them to get over it? No, I don’t think anyone would. So, why then, would you tell a foster child to get over it? Is their hardship not as equally traumatic? Sure it is. They have, for whatever reason, been torn away from their family. Some children are too young to know what happened to them. So, they don’t know that this is not normal. All they know is that these people they are with are not their family. They want to go home.
We tell people who have gone through traumatic expierences that the more they talk about it, the easier it is to deal with it. We would never think to say “Get over it”. Not just because it’s impolite and inconsiderate, but because we want to show compassion for this person and give them someone to talk too. I have not personally had anyone tell me to get over it and I hope I never do. A friend of mine, however did. She, like me, was in the foster care system and is proud of the positive things she has done with her life. Of the two directions she could have gone, she chose the right one for her. She wants to share her own little story of success with the world. Overcoming adversity when it seems the world is against you, is a major accomplishment for anyone. More for us foster kids though. The reason is because once we enter the system we already have one strike against us. See, foster kids aren’t looked at as the next president, CEO of a large company, or anything that positive. We are looked at as the next body that will fill cell block C. So, for any foster child, especially ones who have been in the system for 8 years or more, not living a life of crime is huge. Each one of us, though our stories may seem similar, have different stories to tell. We tell our stories to help educate, to give hope, and to point out a flawed system. All of us, no matter our age, still hurt because in the end someone rejected us. No one wants to be rejected. But to be rejected as a child is a fate far worse then a playground beat down. Instead of my friend being encouraged to share or recieving positive feedback for sharing, she is told to get over it. This rejection came from someone she reveared as close to her and they just threw her away like yesterdays trash. But don’t feel to bad for my friend because she has a wonderful husband who has her back, wonderful children, and a great support system within her in-laws and the rest of us foster’s who have been in her shoes. So, if you don’t like hearing our stories or others like them I have three words for ya; GET OVER IT!
We tell people who have gone through traumatic expierences that the more they talk about it, the easier it is to deal with it. We would never think to say “Get over it”. Not just because it’s impolite and inconsiderate, but because we want to show compassion for this person and give them someone to talk too. I have not personally had anyone tell me to get over it and I hope I never do. A friend of mine, however did. She, like me, was in the foster care system and is proud of the positive things she has done with her life. Of the two directions she could have gone, she chose the right one for her. She wants to share her own little story of success with the world. Overcoming adversity when it seems the world is against you, is a major accomplishment for anyone. More for us foster kids though. The reason is because once we enter the system we already have one strike against us. See, foster kids aren’t looked at as the next president, CEO of a large company, or anything that positive. We are looked at as the next body that will fill cell block C. So, for any foster child, especially ones who have been in the system for 8 years or more, not living a life of crime is huge. Each one of us, though our stories may seem similar, have different stories to tell. We tell our stories to help educate, to give hope, and to point out a flawed system. All of us, no matter our age, still hurt because in the end someone rejected us. No one wants to be rejected. But to be rejected as a child is a fate far worse then a playground beat down. Instead of my friend being encouraged to share or recieving positive feedback for sharing, she is told to get over it. This rejection came from someone she reveared as close to her and they just threw her away like yesterdays trash. But don’t feel to bad for my friend because she has a wonderful husband who has her back, wonderful children, and a great support system within her in-laws and the rest of us foster’s who have been in her shoes. So, if you don’t like hearing our stories or others like them I have three words for ya; GET OVER IT!
Especially when it comes to the wounds of teens/adults emotionally wounded as children. What I’ve come to realize though, is that usually the people who say things like that are actually the ones who feel the greatest inability and helplessness to embrace and address the depths of such pain to manifest true healing.
So I say “continue to work/get THROUGH it”– it’s a process and journey which only the courageous embrace. (: <3